My Recipe for the People-Pleasing, Non-Confrontational, Anxious, & Fearful Mind

We just finished a long weekend of activism and ministry at the Abolish Human Abortion: Project Nineveh conference in Jackson. I'm about to open up a big can of "Welcome to Amber's super personal life," which is pretty much what this entire blog encompasses.... so I guess you are prepared.

CONFESSION: I, Amber Dalton, am one of the most introverted, people-pleasing, and non-confrontational people you will ever meet. Most people have an opinion on our methods and stance with Abolish Human Abortion, and it's usually not a positive one. This clearly causes a major clash with my nature (listed above). Anytime I do not get positive feedback from people on something that I am doing, I tend to get super anxious, and I try to get away from the confrontation. This, however, is not the way the Word of God tells me to be.

Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

1 Thessalonians 2:4 - On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.

There was a documentary crew filming us this weekend called "The Last Clinic." A very wise woman told me yesterday to not even watch what they put online. She said it would be a waste of emotional energy and time. She said that the only camera that I need to worry about getting me on film is God's. As long as what I am doing is soundly backed by Scripture, and I know that I will stand before God one day to give an account, running from confrontation should not be my instinct.

On Sunday, Satan did a real number on me. I was overwhelmed by fear. The gets-your-stomach-in-knots-and-you-can't-eat fear. Two nights in a row Keith was out at the local strip clubs pleading with men to repent and stop objectifying women. One of those nights a well-known gang (like rough, scary, bearded, bulky men) came up and began threatening Keith's and the other people's lives that were with him. I am at peace with the possibility of Keith dying because of his faith. We have already talked about him going to China to smuggle Bibles and do things that would put his life in danger. I've told him that the only way he could leave me on this earth with our children by myself is by dying while proclaiming the Gospel. A car wreck or illness ain't gonna fly! (God's will be done, of course. I ultimately want whatever brings Him the most glory!) So why was I overcome with fear, you ask? Well, while I was giving the kids a bath, I began to envision a hostile group barging into my house and doing something to them. I could not even fathom it. I got them out of the bath tub and began to blare praise and worship music. I knew that I needed God to speak to me through His Word. I happened to open right up to Psalm (which is a great book to read when you are fearful of your enemies by the way!) I read Psalm 137 and nothing really stood out at me, but it is amazing what simply reading Truth from the Scriptures does to your soul! I began reading Psalm 138. Here are some verses that stood out to me:

Psalm 138:3 - On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased.

Psalm 138:7 - Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.

Psalm 138:8 - The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.

That last verse you may remember from a prior blog post when we were dealing with the adoption situation. It was so neat for the Lord to remind me that His purpose is being fulfilled for me! He knows all of these situations I will be in before I ever know. He has every day of my life written in His book. Psalm 139:16 - Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

The very wise woman I spoke of earlier also told me that in dealing with my fear, I cannot protect what happens from the outside, but I CAN protect what happens from the inside (my thoughts). Once I stop using all my emotional energy trying to play through every scenario that could endanger my children, the more I can start digging into God's Word and praying to surrender whatever happens outside to God.

So if you made it through this long post about everything that is going on in the mind of Amber, I will leave you with my recipe for dealing with everything that I just mentioned going on in my head.

MY RECIPE FOR DEALING WITH EVERYTHING I MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG POST:
(The non-confrontational nature, the anxiety trying to please people, the fear of repercussions from bringing Truth to the scariest of places)

1. Read my Bible daily
2. Pray without ceasing and with my husband daily
3. Anytime anxiety or fear begins to sneak in, take it captive head-on by fixing my eyes on Jesus (whether that be through singing praises at the top of my lungs, reading and proclaiming the Truth of God's Word, or silent prayer)


Praying for any of you that may deal with any of these things that I mentioned. Always remember that the Word of God is our sword (Hebrews 4:12, Ephesians 6:17). It is our weapon against the enemy who is actively seeking to destroy us! Press on, brothers and sisters! PRESS ON!

Update on Life!

Again, you will hear me apologizing for my lack of consistency in blog land. I am horrible at this. I know.

First off, I am sure all of you are wondering what is happening with the whole adoption thing. It unfortunately (well, I say that but if it wasn't God's will then there is nothing "unfortunate" about it) didn't work out. Various things happened and the girl decided she was going to find another family to adopt her baby. Yes, I was heartbroken. Yes, I still imagine a series of miraculous events and us still having that baby in April. But ultimately, I TRUST GOD. He has never failed me before, and He certainly won't fail me now!

In other news, Keith and I have been doing a lot of travelling lately. I went to Texas three weekends ago to visit my folks, we both went with the kiddos to New Orleans for an Operation Save America leadership conference two weekends ago, and last weekend we went to Florida (sans children) to an Abolish Human Abortion conference. I actually really enjoy all the travelling but am really glad to sleep in my own bed and get back to the daily grind for a while. In college when I would dream about my perfect husband, I always pictured some hot-shot Christian music artist who would go on tour and I would get to travel with him. Keith is not a hot-shot Christian music artist (well, I mean, he IS in a Christian metal band (Exhortation)... they just haven't reached the "hot-shot" stage.... yet...) - did you see that, Keith? I just advertised for your band on my blog! You can pay me later. I accept the following forms of payment: foot massage, trip to the thrift store, sit-down dinner, changing Abigail's diaper.... you catch my drift! :)
but God still answered my prayer to travel and do ministry with him. Wives, I encourage you to do ministry with your husbands (and your children!)! It will be such a blessing in your marriage!

At war against the powers and principalities in their camo!

College campus on the way to Florida.

This has got to be one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE pictures of my mom. I love the way she loves my children. 

Speaking of marriage, I just started reading Francis and Lisa Chan's new book called "You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity." It is SO GOOD. I will probably be putting excerpts on here in the next couple of days. Never mind, not going to say that considering my current track record.

On another note, you remember that one time you went to Target in Texas and someone stole your wallet that was attached to your car keys and your dad had just given you like $500?
Oh that's right. I forgot. That was ME!
So yeah, my dad had just paid me for some work I did. He gave me about $250 in cash and then a $250 American Express rewards card (which thankfully we were able to report stolen and recoup). I walk in to Target, buy some stuff, pick my sleeping boy up out of the cart, walk out the door, put him in the car, sit down to start the car, and.... no wallet or keys! I look everywhere. My dad comes and looks everywhere. We get the head security guy to look on the camera. This is what he saw....

Ignore the fact that it's a security camera still-shot and looks like I am stealing this little boy. I promise he is mine!!

If you look to the left, you will see a large rectangular object sticking out of my pocket. That happens to be my wallet which I assume falls out shortly after I leave the store. So if you happened to pick up that Vera Bradley wallet with some van keys and Planet Fitness ID tags at the Target in Longview, Texas, message me and I will send you my address! (was worth a shot!)

So, my van was stranded in Texas. In a Target parking lot. We had to go to the Police Station to file a police report. We had to somehow find some sort of picture ID of me so that we could get a new key made for the van (my dad happened to find a Lifetouch "ID" from my junior year of High School... granted I've put on a pound or twenty since then.) Then, instead of paying the dealership $200 to program the key, my dad and I youtubed it. It was pretty much the easiest thing ever. 

If you ever need a key programmed, "Mike Peery & Daughter's Programming Company" will be up and running shortly. 

We ended up getting everything situated. I got my car back and yesterday got a new license. It's $24 to renew by the way! Geez, thieves! 

My dad ended up sending me the sweetest letter in the mail after everything went down, and I got back home. The quality time that we got to spend together looking frantically for my wallet, getting patted down at the Police Station, re-programming the key to my van, and receiving that handwritten letter was priceless and well worth all the hassle. I would easily pay way more than $500 to do it all over again if I could. :)

That's all for now! Man, I forget how much I like this blogging thing. I should do this more often! ;)