First Mile and When Your Heart Breaks...

After nursing Abigail around 5:15 this morning, I finally made the decision to start officially training for the Rock n' Roll New Orleans Half Marathon. I ran one mile and walked/ran close to a mile back. One down, 12.1 more to go!

Have you ever had that moment when God completely breaks your heart for the lost? I was just listening to some worship music on youtube (some Selah and "Be Born In Me" - Francesca Battistelli) when all of the sudden I just start weeping out of nowhere for the souls of the ladies who escort women into the abortion mill. And by weeping, I mean uncontrollable (almost making me physically sick) groaning/weeping. These women are very calloused toward God and it makes me so sad to know they do not experience the peace, love, comfort, and presence of the Holy Spirit like I do. My heart is crying out to God to save these women, to show them that He is REAL, and that their hearts will no longer be hardened. 

I love the sweet presence of God. I always want to stay in this moment forever. It's all that I long for and ever desire in this world. He always seems so real and present when He grips my heart for those dying and going to hell. It's like I get to see Him in a new way and experience His heart. 

And then I cry out to Him asking Him never to leave- wanting to feel this way for the rest of my time on earth- knowing that He is not the one who leaves, but I am. I fill my life with so much junk and worries of the world that there is no room for His presence to be felt and known.

Oh, forgive me Lord. Use me. Change me. Mold me. 

My Near-Death Experience and Praying for Those Who Persecute You

Now before you completely freak out on me, my near-death experience was not because someone was persecuting me! You can breathe easy because the two subjects of this post are unrelated. Whew! Sigh. of. relief.

Onto the first subject...

As you saw in my last post, (I am not blog-savvy enough to know how to put in a link so just scroll on down and read my last post if you have not yet) we just bought a new-to-us van. This van comes equipped with two sliding doors, as mini-vans usually do, but one happens to be automatic. There is this tiny, magical button on the inside that you can push that will close the door for you. It really is a wonderful invention for those who know how to use it properly and use common sense. I, unfortunately, am not one of those people.

On Saturday night I went to go get my nephew's car seat out of our van. I unbuckled it from the van seat and realized how heavy it was and that I would not be able to close the sliding door while holding it. Then, a brilliant idea hit me! I could just push that magical button, grab the seat real fast, and make my exit. This idea seemed easier than it actually was. I push the magical button, grab the seat, but realize that the door is coming at me rather fast and furious. Not being a quick-on-my-feet thinker, I am still holding the car seat and begin getting squished by the door. After about 10 seconds (which seemed like a lot longer, believe me) the door finally realized that something was blocking its way so it decided to open again. In that 10 seconds, I felt a combination of emotions. One was definitely embarrassment - I could just see the headline now... "Mother of Two Dies Being Squished by Automatic Van Door," the other was being scared out of my mind. Thankfully, I am still here to tell this crazy story. Lesson learned: I am not faster nor smarter than the sliding door on our van.

Now onto the second subject...

As I said before, I am reading in the book of Acts. Acts 7 is all about Stephen and his death (way more practical and glorious than my near-death experience, mind you!) We see something very interesting right before Stephen dies. He said these words: "Lord, do not hold this sin against them" in verse 60. Two verses before and one verse after we see who the ringmaster of the stoning of Stephen was and who Stephen was praying for: Saul.

HELLO! Did you hear me? You remember Saul? The persecutor of Christians who God blinded on the Road to Damascus who became a Jesus-follower and one of the most influential men in early Christianity?! Yeah. Stephen prayed for him before any of that ever happened.

Wow. This makes me rethink why God tells us to pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). We pray for them not only for our sake, to have a heart like God's, but so that those who persecute us will have a Road-to-Damascus experience in their life! And clearly God is powerful enough to change the heart of even the worst persecutor since he has done it before!

God's redemptive plan is so amazing.

My Sweet Ride & What We All REALLY Deserve

Went to Texas last weekend and got a new (to me) rockin' mini-van. This thing is old school (it comes equipped with a VCR player --yes, that ancient technology that plays those huge rectangular cassette-type things-- and tiny screen!!!!!) and I absolutely LOVE it. It's spacious and actually blows cool air (the 2 points on my "the Dalton family needs a new vehicle" wish-list).

Cozy, huh?

On the way home from Texas yesterday we stopped at a donut shop on our way out. The bag that our donuts (I got a kolache - that's healthier, right?!) came in got me thinking:

My first reaction was "Why yes, yes I do!" Then this thought hit me: in reality the donut bag should say this:

This is the reality of our lives. I truly believe we as Christians have bought into the lie that we "deserve" the favor and blessing of God (also known as a Lexus, golden toilet, and private jet). There is nothing that punches the prosperity gospel in the face more than the fact that the ONLY thing we deserve from God is damnation for eternity. This is not taught in most mainstream American churches anymore. We go to church, sit in our pews, and hear the preacher talk on subjects that we would hear at a self-help therapy session or motivational conference. Where is the weeping that some of our family and friends not only deserve hell, like us, but will end up there due to their unrepentant hearts? Where is the hunger for God's Truth and the desire to go into the deepest depths of His Word? I no longer want to be the worldly "Christian" that can only tolerate milk (1 Corinthians 3:1-3) - I LONG FOR MEAT!

Just thinking on the fact that I deserve hell makes my heart swell in gratitude to our God! The whole gospel relies on the fact that we are sinners, deserving of hell, but that God did something extremely painful to Himself so that we would not have to get what we deserve. He is SO good, y'all! 

So.. next time this thought crosses your mind: "God, I really deserve ___________"... think twice about the reality of what you truly deserve and the lengths He went to make sure that was not what your future held. Once you change your perception to reality, whatever was in that blank will pass away and only the goodness of God will remain in your heart and mind!

Fun in the Sun and Getting Back in the Word

Took the kids for a swim today. Elijah was a little hesitant at first but ended up loving it! Abigail enjoyed it immensely. She is my little water baby- which is fitting since she was born in the water. :D 

The kids and I, with NeeNee (my mom) in tow, will head back to Mississippi tomorrow.

I have started re-reading Acts and making notes about the early church. Keith and I have some important questions to answer and have been praying for direction about a certain situation in our lives. I have set out a fleece before God and for now we are playing the waiting game and remaining faithful where He has us. We want more than anything to make sure we are in God's will - it is the safest and most joyful place to be! Will probably be sharing some of the revelations I have received from my reading of Acts so stay tuned!! 

Farewell.... For good!

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have tried to press the "delete" button on this certain thing in my life, and I fail miserably every time. Sure, I am able to go a few weeks without it, but then I begin to think of the "good" it does and how "fun" it is. I am inevitably drawn back in.

Here is my conclusion: If this thing has that much of a draw on my life and my time spent on it does not benefit my spiritual walk or influence the Kingdom of God (I am not saying this thing in my life has not at some point done those two things but if the majority of the time I spend doing it does not do one of those two things...) IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. -- That last sentence was a little convoluted, but I think you catch my drift. ;)

Most of you probably know the "thing" I am referring to. If not, let me give you a little hint: It starts with the letter "F". The first part of the word is where your eyes, nose, and mouth are located and the last part of the word is something you crack open and read...

You got it! FACEBOOK. Oh, Facebook. I have such a love/hate relationship with Facebook. 

I LOVE: seeing what other people's lives are like (getting good ideas for my own life), interacting with people I would not have otherwise, seeing what people comment on what I post

I HATE: seeing what other people's lives are like (I become this crazy judgmental person who critiques everyone and everything I see), interacting with people I would not have otherwise ("interacting" that keeps me from doing what I should be doing in the first place: actual interpersonal communication- where I can see nonverbal cues and have a better perception of what their message actually means... not to mention the fact that face-to-face/phone interaction is the real deal and so much more meaningful!), seeing what people comment on what I post (I become a follower-fiend. I literally log into Facebook a million times a day just to see what people have to say about what I post - because of course I think everything I post is AMAZING and EVERYONE should like and do as I do - but when that god-like perception of mine is squashed when no one comments or, even worse, when someone comments negatively... oh boy! I get in a tizzy!) 

Making that list right now made me come to another conclusion: If the things you love about something are the same exact things that turn you into a person that does not please God -- IT IS NOT A GOOD THING.

So, why start a blog? Won't it cause the same follower-fiend frenzy?

I do not believe so, and here is why: 

I actually don't expect anyone to read this, much less comment. This blog is mainly for myself to be able to write what God puts on my heart. I am a very unconventional person with many beliefs and convictions based on my walk with God and the voice of the Spirit that tend to go against the grain in many areas. As a result, I have discovered recently how imperative it is that I know why (based on Scripture) I do the things I do when it comes to my personal life and also the life of my family. This will be a diary of sorts - a journey of this Mississippi Mom (that's me!) going after God's Own Heart.