Sunday, November 9, 2014

My Miscarriage Becomes Real

So due to all the trauma I faced in the ER on Friday, my mind and heart had not been able to process the loss of my baby until last night. There were so many emotions surfacing but I just wanted to deny any of it and continue on with my life. It just seemed that it would be easier that way. I never saw a sonogram of my baby, never heard his/her heartbeat... so why not act like he/she never existed?

Because his life matters.

My sister-in-law, Chrystal, came over last night and her words were invaluable to me. Her second baby, Kyla, was birthed into heaven. She said that when anybody asked me how many children I have, I am to say three. She encouraged me to give my baby a name and talk about my baby. I didn't want to give him a name. I knew that at the point that I did, my miscarriage would become real and the sense of loss that I had been suppressing would overwhelm me. And it did, but it was a good thing.

Gideon Jeremiah Dalton was birthed into the hands of the Lord on November 7, 2014.

I was reading what the Bible says about Gideon this morning and it brought me a lot of encouragement.

Hebrews 11:32 - And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell you about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies.

My sweet son, my third child, has gained what was and is promised to us as Christians. He has an eternal inheritance that far outweighs anything on this earth that I could have given him. His weakness, whatever it was that kept him growing healthy inside of my womb, has been turned to strength.

Judges 6:12 - When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

I take comfort today in knowing that my mighty warrior is with the Lord.


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