Spina Bifida Awareness Fundraiser!

October is spina bifida awareness month! I cannot even begin to explain to you how much I have learned about it in the past week. I created a t-shirt design to sell to raise money for baby Ezekiel, but most importantly to raise awareness about this birth defect. I want to shout it from the rooftops how strong and beautiful every person born with spina bifida is... because GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES! It even has a little shout out to Ezekiel on the back. Did you catch it? God Will Strengthen!!!!

Help spread the word like wildfire! :) Campaign ends October 5!

https://www.booster.com/god-doesnt-make-mistakes

Front:

Back:

Never Tell a Secret to a Three Year Old!

Okay, so Keith and I had already decided this pregnancy that we would not find out the sex of the baby. Keith never wanted to find out with any of ours, but I was persistent, and then we came to a compromise. I told him once we had a boy and a girl that we would not find out what the next baby would be. Well, when we found out that this baby had spina bifida, that changed for me. I felt like it would be really helpful for me to go ahead and find out since we would be having so many ultrasounds and so I could better pray for him/her. Keith still wanted to be left in the dark so I found out and he did not. Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. For some brilliant reason, I spilled the beans to our three year old, Elijah. At dinner last night when I was telling Keith that Elijah had prayed for his baby brother/sister and the hole in his/her back, Elijah promptly and very confidently said, "No. Baby _________ (insert sex of the baby)!!!" Keith got a smirk on his face and then admitted that he knew. Apparently he had seen some certain reproductive organs when Dr. Bofill was examining the baby on Thursday. Moral of the story: Never look at the ultrasound and NEVER tell your three year old if you want to keep the sex of your baby a surprise!

If you don't want to be surprised come January, just take a look at this video: BOY or GIRL?

Hey Sweet Baby, It's Your Mom Again:

Guess what? Today I got to see you on TV not once but TWICE! Mommy has been to the doctor three times in the past two days to learn more about you and how you are growing. We found out some more information about you today, but in October we will have more answers. Your doctors are very sound and know what they are talking about. They are going to do an MRI to check you out even more on October 15. I first saw Dr. Perry and then he referred me to Dr. Bofill at UMMC. He took a good look at your brain and noticed that he could not find some parts that should be there. He said you may have a disgenesis of your corpus callosum which could signify that the part of your brain that sends signals from the left to right is missing. We will know more in October when they do the MRI though. He also measured the fluid in your brain and said that it was measuring at 11. He said it should never be over 10 but that as long as it did not get up to 15, we should not be too concerned. This is normal in babies with spina bifida. It just means that you will need to get a shunt put in your brain to drain any excess fluid that collects there. He also measured the opening of your spine and where the neural elements and tissue bulge out. He said it is about 6 vertebrae long and is very low on your back about equal to where your hip bones are. The lower, the better, he says!

I write all this so that I can remember what all went on these past two days and to let you know that you are being taken care of. However, I want to remind you and myself that our hope is not in the hands of these physicians, however skilled and intelligent they may be! Here is mommy's journal entry from September 2, 2015 (God has seriously been speaking to me things prior to when I need them and then bringing them up for me to read days/weeks later. He is so good!):

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2 Chronicles 16:7b-9,12 
"At that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah and said to him, 'Because you relied on the King of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the King of Aram has escaped from your hand. Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the Lord, He delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.' In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was diseased in his feet, and his disease became severe. Yet even in his disease he did not seek the Lord, but sought help from physicians."

Lord, in illness, in peace, in times of hardship, in times of plenty:

MAY I ALWAYS BE FULLY COMMITTED TO YOU. Completely relying on You!

I pray that where this baby in my womb is concerned that I would seek YOUR help and my reliance would not be on physicians. I believe physicians have a place and I praise You for them, but help me not to put them on the pedestal where only You belong. 

Thank You for what You have done for me, God. I know the strength of my enemies and any illness is weakness in light of You being on my side.

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So there you have it, sweet baby. You are in exactly the spot that God created you to be, and as I said in my previous letter, I am HONORED to be your mom! I read today in a news article from the beginning of this year that 68% of babies with spina bifida are aborted my their moms. I feel SO privileged that God has given you to me. You are a special gift with a special calling, and I cannot wait to see you fulfill it!

Honored and humbled beyond measure,

Your Mom


Here are some pictures from today:

21 weeks pregnant!

 

Our first stop was Dr. Perry's office:

 Then daddy got a little sleepy waiting in Dr. Bofill's office:

Here you are, my little  mover and shaker!

To My Sweet Baby:

Today was the day of my ultrasound. Before I share my letter I wrote to my child after my doctor's appointment today, I will share some journal entries I have written in the past couple of weeks about him/her:

September 11, 2015
5 more days until my sonogram.

No matter what the results are, I have to remind myself: GOD LOVES ME. Nothing He does is out of hatred or meanness. EVERYTHING He does is for my ultimate good.

No matter what the results are, the child in my womb is a BLESSING, not a CURSE.

Satan, I will not question God's character: His goodness, love, and faithfulness.
I WILL NOT.

God continually puts on my heart to pray that this baby would be fearless. I know that he/she will be - whatever that means.

Then I wrote the lyrics to this song:

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September 16, 2015 5:30AM

Well, today is the day. Today I get to see my baby and the doctor will diagnose whether or not there is something wrong.... No, it won't be something "wrong" because God is the One forming him/her and HE DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES. Sure, He never desired defects to exist, but now they do because of sin. However, He allows them and uses them for MY greater good: personal growth and sanctification. I go to this appointment with much anticipation, not fearful anticipation, but EXPECTANT anticipation. I am excited to see what God has in store for us and outr gift that He has given us. 

Do I want Him to give me a healthy baby like the first two? OF COURSE.

Do I believe that He could/would? OF COURSE.

But, ultimately, I surrender myself and my fleshly desires to desire and want what He HAS for me.

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September 16, 2015 6:55PM

My sweet baby, today we saw you on a big TV screen. The nurse began to look at you and when she got to your brain and spine, she called for the doctor. We had been told that some of mommy's hormones were not what they should be and that you may have a neural tube defect. Well, you do. Dr. Wolfe confirmed today that you have spina bifida. Spina bifida means that you have an opening in your spine. Dr. Wolfe said he was very optimistic that with a c-section and surgery you will be just fine! We will get to see you again tomorrow when mommy goes to a special doctor that will help you even more. 

I didn't cry when the doctors told us about your condition, and I still haven't. I feel great peace. I was reminded today of the first gift you received. Your sweet Aunt Anna gave it to me when you had only been in mommy's belly for a few weeks:

You truly are fearfully and wonderfully made! God has made you and He does not make mistakes. I feel honored to be your mom and can't wait to hold you and take care of you. I pray that you stay safe and cozy where you are and that the Holy Spirit ministers to you even while in mommy's tummy.

I found where I had written in my Bible on July 2, 2015 next to Psalm 22:9-11 ... "Prayer for Baby Dalton #3"

Psalm 22:9-11 says "Yet you brought me out of the womb, you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast. From birth I was cast upon you, from my mother's womb you have been my God. Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help."

God has prepared me for you. You are such a gift. See you tomorrow on TV!

-Your mom

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I will update on what our specialist says in the morning. For now, I leave you with one more song that has been in my spirit: